Corn dildos: a better alternative to an actual corn

Corn dildos: a better alternative to an actual corn

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Have you seen that YouTube video called “Angel’s Bonus Technique?” Yeah, the one with the grapefruit. If you haven’t, we hope that the rock you’re living under is cozy enough. If you have, you know precisely how well fruit and blowjobs go together. Let’s face it — we can still hear Angel’s sound effect.

Now, you know how you look at a box with two holes in it, and you immediately see it as a face? That’s an evolutionary remnant from our hunting days. Perhaps it has nothing to do with our past, but we experience a similar process when we see a piece of corn. There’s no denying it — it looks like a dick! Some of us use corn to be funny in front of our pals (hey, look at my yellow cock-a-doodle-doo), but others see actual pleasure in it. When you search for corn (not on Google), around 400 videos will pop up.

However, corn (or any other vegetable for that matter) is not the perfect item of choice when it comes to insertion. To save the day, we have vegetable dildos! 

Sex Toys Improve Sex Life and Relationships

Sex toys have been around for quite some time, but they’ve started gaining in popularity in the 2000s. In 2008, for instance, the sex toy industry had a growth of 30% and a worldwide value of 15 billion U.S. dollars! This sharp increase comes down to two things. First, the rise of online shopping allowed this industry to grow even further as people are more willing to buy sex toys online due to increased anonymity. Secondly, as time goes by, sex toys are becoming less of a taboo and more of a normal thing for every couple (or single players) to have.

These toys can enhance your sex life as they provide you with sexual experiences you’ve never had before. Sex toys can stimulate various parts of your body but also open the door for different kinds of roleplay, which can arouse you psychologically. As couples go through these new experiences together, their bond grows ever stronger. Consequently, their relationships improve overall. One can say that a nine-inch dildo stimulates the heart as well (cheesy, we know)!

Variety of Sex Toys

Let’s look at straight vanilla sex for a second. You have two instruments — a vagina that looks what it looks like and a penis that is what it is. There is some variation to it, but there’s never been a guy who took down his pants, and the girl said, “Wow, that is completely unexpected!”

With sex toys, you don’t have these restrictions. If you do your research thoroughly, you’ll see that you can get really weird with them. Like, really weird. For instance, have you heard of, wait for it, Orgasmatron 3000? Come on, look at its name! It’s basically a saddle tied to a washing machine that gets you off as you do your laundry. Then you have something called Sqweel Go, which looks like a real-life plumbus (only people with high IQ will get this). 

What we’re trying to say is that the sky’s the limit, really. These toys come in various shapes and sizes, with different features. Even if you look at something relatively standardized like dildos, there’s still room for imagination. There are strange dildos that, for the nerds among you, are inspired by various mythical beasts and swords. Apart from animal-shaped dildos (from dogs to dragons), you have weird dildos that come with some truly fantastic names. Here’s just to mention a few:


  • The Jackhammer Jesus
  • Annihilator XXXL
  • Jake the Minotaur
  • Rise Up Black Fist

As you might have already guessed, there are also many dildos that have taken their shape from vegetables and fruit. That isn’t something particularly imaginative or strange, though. Before we started using silicone and stainless steel to create dildos, people used actual vegetables to stimulate themselves. 

The Use of Vegetables as Sex Toys

Vegetables have been a source of pleasure for the kinky for centuries. If you didn’t have a man around you, and you wanted to get off in the 19th century, what were you going to do? Go to your garden, of course. Essentially, all you needed was a vegetable that resembled the shape of a phallus, and you were good to go. Your mind would have done the rest. There’s not a single person in this world who hasn’t made a dad joke when he had a banana around them. Apart from bananas, classic partners in crime include cucumbers, eggplants, asparagi, and carrots.

Obviously, among them is corn as well. Corn is probably the original vegetable cock, as it’s long, girthy, and it isn’t too dramatic when feeling under the weather. For many people, corn (and other vegetables) is not just something they use for the lack of a better choice. Instead, they find the shape and the look of it the origin of their fantasy. There’s simply something alluring about using a proper vegetable to stimulate yourself. But is it safe?

Potential Health Risks?

When you first think about it, it feels kind of wrong to use the Great Cornholio for your bunghole. Surely, there must be some potential health hazards waiting to happen? The answer is a bit grayish: it’s a yes and a no.

There are potential risks you need to be wary of. First off, some parts of the vegetable can break off and remain inside you (your butt or your vagina). If you don’t notice it immediately (especially if you don’t feel it inside), you can forget about it. As time goes by, a grape or a corn kernel could travel so far inwards that only a trip to the doctor’s could help get it out.

Additionally, most vegetables, even when appropriately cleaned, contain a lot of bacteria on them. They’re safe to eat as our intestines know how to deal with them. However, your vagina is not used to them, and they can cause an infection down there. That’s why you should use something to cover the corn before insertion to avoid both of these scenarios. A thick condom could do the trick.

Using Corn Dildos

However, the best way to avoid any safety risks of using an actual vegetable entirely is by not using a vegetable at all! As we’ve mentioned, the sex toy industry has been on a sharp rise for years now, and there’s pretty much everything on the market. That inevitably includes dildos shaped like corn.

The immediate benefit of using a corn dildo (instead of actual corn) is the fact that it’s a dildo. It’s explicitly designed to pleasure you. You can decide on the size of it, the texture, and the material. Depending on how much into corn you actually are, you can find more or less realistic ones. For instance, there’s a dildo that’s entirely realistic. Manufacturers claim that the sensation of individual kernels going in offers far better stimulation than a regular dildo. On top of that, they’re easier to clean, and you don’t have to worry about bacteria finding a resting place in-between kernels. That way, it’s not a one-time-only item, and you can go for a second helping! Did we convince you that corn dildos are safe, gives you more pleasure, and sustainable? If so, then go to and get yours.